Saturday, December 12, 2009
I am tired of things. Sometimes it seems like when ever I am asked how I am the only response I have is "tired". Not physically. But emotionally and mentally. Is there a place to go where you can escape this type of tired? Hell if I know. I just want to breathe and relax. Doesn't seem like a lot to ask for but when it comes right down to it very few people are willing to just give that to you unconditionally. That's a key.
On another note, and one which is NOT very good, I have come upon a revelation of sorts regarding the VNV and Legacy Vets. Let me preface this by saying the DH told me yesterday that one of the patch holders' claim to military service is that he joined the Army, went to basic, got stationed with a jump unit and while at jump school fell off the tower and was discharged. So pretty much his military career is the extent of how much time I've spent in the field my first year of service. So this "vet" gets patched and gets to be treated like he's somehow better than me and gets to act like he's somehow better than me. I have a whole new attitude towards these so-called vets. Why should I support them when they don't support me? I did 20 years serving this country - more than 90% of the patch holders in the club. OK, I wasn't in VietNam, nor did I serve in Iraq or Afghanistan. But guess what - some of them didn't either. It's hurtful to be honest. Once again as a female and a Marine I find it impossible to feel like I belong anywhere or with anyone.
I have been thinking about the idea for a novel again. I keep thinking if I just took the time to write the thoughts down I might really have something. I create dialogues in my head while driving to and from work daily. It's perfected itself actually. My dreams are beginning to add to the storyline - whether consciously or unconsciously. Maybe a book is my destiny for freedom of a hurting soul? Maybe the way to release my heart is to share it with those who can be empathetic with me?
I miss other bloggers... Twitter is fun and a quick fix, but to me blogging is still King. Where or where are my followers? Let me know if you are out there!
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Already Gone" by Sugarland.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
So much going on....
1. Work is steady, which is awesome, but we are still not locked into a new contract for 2010. I love my job - still.
2. The DH loves his new bike. Oh yeah, you don't know... I got tired of him borrowing mine so I bought him his own last week. Nice 2009 Dyna Super Glide. Sweet bike.
3. Thanksgiving is fast approaching and I couldn't be happier. Not because it's a time for family togetherness. Oh no! For us it's a time of mini solo vacation! That's right. The DH is taking off for Phoenix on a 4x4 trip with the daughter in tow. The leave Wednesday afternoon and return on Monday. I can't believe I'll have 5 whole days to myself. I'm practically giddy with anticipation. I'm buying a bottle of scotch. Just sayin...
4. The youngest son is now bound for Afghanistan. Although I am trying very hard to be a Marine, the Mom in me is pushing it's way to the surface. I hope we hear from him soon.
5. I need to start getting ready for my trip to Ohio Dec 2-7. As you might recall I am scheduled to do a craft show at my cousin's work. I have completed purses and scarves for the inventory. Now I need to take inventory, pictures and put together a photo book of sorts for the booth, along with packing up the inventory and shipping it to Ohio prior to the show.
6. The MC is starting to be a painful entity for me. It's a boy club and although I am a Veteran I am still not a guy - so they treat me differently and really don't quite know what to do with me. I don't really fit in with their wives, but I try. I do ok at it, but my heart is just not there. It hurts but I just have to accept it and move on. Dwelling on it won't change anything.
I think that's about it... Summarized and yet no disgustingly short. I am tired these days - more so than I should be. It's a lack of will and a bit of depression I think. I need to find some pleasure somewhere, in something, somehow. What a daunting task!
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Tennessee Line" by DAUGHTRY w/Vince Gill
Monday, November 2, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
> My phone
I don't consider any of these something that stops my functioning as a human. My list includes technology which has changed the way we interact with people. I believe that people today make a choice either to embrace the technology ... or not. I don't know how or if I can even leave it behind at this point. It has become part of me and I only see it evolving - not dissolving.
The other topic - job change - is certainly less interesting, but important nonetheless. I am currently under a contract with a company hired by the government. This particular contract ends Dec 14th, 2009. A follow-on contract is supposed to kick in terminating Sept 30th, 2010, but we have not been told if that is going to happen. So I have been putting my feelers out for a new job. This is my list (in so particular order):
> Same job, but with a contract through Sept 30th, 2010. The job is in 29 Palms. I would live up there during the week and come home whenever I can.
> Three spots above me is opening up. I'm applying.
Will keep you posted on what happens.
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Learned My Lesson" by Daughtry.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Picked up the youngest son from the airport on Saturday morning. He will be home on leave until Nov 1st. Then shortly afterwards he will be heading from GA to Afghanistan. I try to think about that part as a Marine and not as a Mom.
I have been toiling with the idea of finding my own MC. Not an easy thing to do and get what I'm looking for. I need to hash this out more in my head and decide.
Heading to Ohio Dec 2-7. Mostly for the craft fair, but also to spend time with family and friends. Need to also decide if I want to live there or not.
Geez, suddenly this whole thing just became too boring to continue. I've got nothing to write about!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
"Can we wear an evening gown instead of our uniform?"
"Excuse me? What did you just say?"
Every time I hear this question I cringe. Why on Earth would you NOT want to wear your Dress Blues? You earned the right to wear them. You went through 13 weeks of Boot Camp just so you can claim the title of a US Marine and you would rather wear a stinking evening gown to the most important event in Marine Corps history???
I've heard all the excuses:
1) I DON'T FEEL LIKE A WOMAN IN MY UNIFORM. That sounds like a personal problem. Wearing an evening gown isn't going to "fix" that.
2) I WEAR A UNIFORM EVERY DAY. And let me get this straight...you aren't proud to do so? How many times in the past 12 months have you worn your Dress Blues?
3) I'M A WOMAN AND WANT TO DRESS LIKE ONE AND LET MY HAIR DOWN. This isn't Homecoming or Winter Formal or Prom. You are a Marine first. This isn't about you. It's much bigger than that - it's about respecting the Marine Corps - past and present.
It's a touchy subject with me and one most female Marines don't care to have with me. If they don't want to wear my uniform then they are telling me that being a Marine means nothing to them and that the Marine Corps Birthday is just another holiday. I have zero tolerance for this line of thinking. You are either a Marine or you're not. Make up your mind and then you let me know.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
I was just doing something the other day out of desperation and a feeling of overwhelming pain and loss. Low and behold the very next day something happens that makes me think God does answer prayers. Makes me believe I am not crazy. Makes me wonder if something isn't changing in my life. Makes me think about a lot.
I have been down all weekend with a cold. It ruined my plans to ride my Harley and my horse, but with the work week ahead I couldn't afford to be sick and have to take time off, so I gave in and stayed in bed, rested when I felt like it and took my meds. Tonight I am feeling much better. The sneezing has all but stopped. No more headache and thankfully, no more coughing. That was the worst - the coughing. Ugh.
The youngest will be home in 13 days. I'm very excited to see him. My little Soldier! He would be embarrassed to hear me say that. I am still his Mom after all.
OK, that's it for this time. Still no comments from the regulars. Still no one else is blogging. Still I continue to blog.
SONG OF THE BLOG: None. I haven't heard a song all weekend long.
Monday, September 28, 2009
I had a great birthday. As is the norm in our household I got the birthday weekend. I was catered to, got to choose meals and was treated very special. It was amazing! The daughter got me a pedi. The DH was a sweetie and today I got a massage. Yay for me!
Wishing others would blog. I'm not giving up hope they will return. Added another blog to my reading. :)
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Red Light" by David Nail. I think I have used this one before but no one is around to call me on it.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Unfortunately while we were in Havasu we did have one bad experience... In a nutshell we met a guy who is a poser. Now first off I gotta say it's pretty damn ballsy to even pretend to be a Marine and talk crap in the presence of two Retired Marines. That didn't stop this wanna be. We met him through a mutual friend. He invited us into his house where he has a corner of his den as a showplace for some photos, a uniform, and promotion warrants. The more he talked the more things weren't adding up. The Dh and I looked at each other every now and then. He was thinking exactly what I was - no way. So when we got back home we both started doing some research on our own and found some pretty amazing stuff on this guy. He has a reputation for being a poser - as a football coach, author, football player, and who knows what else. The Marine part bothers us though. Claiming to have personal awards is a serious charge in any military person's mind. We are gathering facts and then will see what happens. More to follow...
Work has been very busy with RAM upgrades and such. Makes for a fun day and for the first time I really felt like I knew what I was doing today. That was a good feeling. It's pretty amazing how quickly the GySgt comes back when talking to Marines.
Monday is my birthday. I will be 46. Not making a huge deal out of it. Just dinner with the Dh and daughter. That's enough for me!
SONG OF THE BLOG: "No Boundaries" by Kris Allen
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Have thought again about trying to get some overseas pen friends. Why? To fill a space. Like I already don't have quite enough to do. Between work, horses, the bike, crocheting, being a wife - yeah, squeeze in handwriting letters to people in foreign countries. Am I sounding pathetic enough for you already? Told ya it probably wouldn't be pretty. Best you aren't reading.
content = satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Red Light" by David Nail
Monday, September 14, 2009
Had a good email exchange today with The Birdman. Sometimes its great to get a guy's perspective on things and he's always my best source. He cuts through the cliches and BS and just says what he needs to say. Not a lot of people I know have this talent. I appreciate his advice probably more than he realizes.
Thursday after work the DH and I are jumping in the truck and hitting the road to Havasu for the weekend. Never and K will be there along with B & K. Should be a fun weekend of just relaxing in the pool with the other two girls and going out to the bars at night. I just don't want to karoake. LOL
On a sad note, Patrick Swayze died today. He was only 57. I know he fought hard against cancer. It's very heartbreaking he lost the battle.
SONG OF THE BLOG: "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes in honor of "Dirty Dancing".
Friday, September 11, 2009
So there I was sitting in my seat at the table, next to the birthday girl, using my straw to play in my watered down Coke. Yeah, that was my fun. OK, maybe I was being a party pooper. Maybe I was already in a foul mood when I got there. But it doesn't take much to keep me entertained when you put a Guinness in my hand and engage me in some 1) interesting conversation, 2) innocent flirting, and 3) not so innocent flirting. LOL Just kidding. Anyway, I just wasn't feeling it tonight. Either I didn't want to be social or I was with the wrong crowd or both. Who knows?
The headache started and escalated within 15 minutes. The pain behind my eyes was so intense I was squinting. The dim lights weren't helping either. The BBQ chicken salad was bland. My Coke was watery. I had to roll out of there.
Tomorrow's plans are unclear at this time. The DH is working in the AM. I might go for a walk or hit the gym and then come home to crochet some. Never and the Guys are up in Lemore for the weekend on a run. Club business so no women allowed.
Totally forgot to mention the season opener of SOA. It was pretty intense. Wait, did I already mention this? Damn, I can't remember.
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Toes" by The Zac Brown Band
Thursday, September 10, 2009
We often say is a joking manner how we would love for our system to go down but then when it does we are bored out of our minds. We started a small football pool in our boredom. The Marines used this opportunity to break out the tactical firewalls. And it's loud. Because everyone is talking to each other instead of with their heads bured in a monitor. It's funny to see the transformation. The phone lines are still operational and haven't had a break since 0730 this morning. I wonder it will be like tomorrow...?
I'm almost finished with the my first Bengals bag. I love the way the colors came together. I hope it's a popular item at the craft fair. Looking at the calendar I have to guess I will be able to maybe finish only two more bags before I will need to ship to Ohio for the Oct fair. I'm guessing Saturday the 26th is ship day...
With that in mind I need to focus on the Dec fair and kicking out as much as I can. Ship date for that is Nov 28th. With luck I hope to have more bags with Bengals and UC Bearcats for the inventory as well as some scarves. Time is against me because of work but I'm trying to be realistic in my estimates.
Facebook has become a real entertainment factor for me, not to mention a tool to reconnect. An old GF of the DH's from 1983 got in touch with him. Same girl is also a friend of mine - unbeknownst to either of us. LOL
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Learn My Lesson" by Daughtry
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Today was a really relaxing, kickback kind of day. The DH and I took the truck in for an oil change, then went to breakfast at Annie's. Then we went to the grocery, although neither of us really felt like shopping and didn't want to just load up the cart with food, so we grabbed some essentials (no, not beer) and made burgers and tots for dinner. We'll figure out the rest of the week later.
Tomorrow night is Ladies Night at Quaid in Temecula, so I'll be hitting that. They always have good chow and lots of prizes. Not really into the whole "ladies" thing but it's an excuse to talk bike and maybe learn something new.
Tomorrow our new coworker starts. G and I are curious about her. We are all going to lunch together with T. I hope she fits in. I'll let you know.
Talking about asking for the Havasu house the weekend before Christmas. It would be me and the DH, our oldest, his gf and our grandson. J and her beau. Could be fun. We just want a no stress, relaxing Christmas. Thinking this might be a good way to get it.
The Soldier will be home Oct 17th. Anxious to see him and spend some time with him before he ships to Afghanistan. Hopefully he will have internet and can keep in touch with us. We are already planning on boxes to send him with 'stuff'.
Today I went on a great ride. Did the De Luz road ride. It was fun and I noticed some of the turns that gave me trouble last time were a lot easier this time. Guess I'm getting a little better.
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Poker Face" by Daughtry
Monday, September 7, 2009
Where do I start? How about with this: In 1983 my husband was dating a girl that he had every intention of marrying. However, he ended the relationship in order to try and make things work with his then ex wife for the sake of his son. In 1984 I arrive at Camp Pendleton and try out for the Marine Corps Mounted Color Guard. Fast forward to 1990. The DH and I meet in Okinawa, Japan. OK, so where does the interesting part of this story come in? Yesterday the old gf of my husband contacts him on Facebook. As it turns out, this gf is the same friend of mine that along with her husband was in charge of the Mounted Color Guard. Go figure. What are the odds? Talk about the six degrees of seperation.
I don't think many of you know too much about my first marriage, but it ended badly and I literally lost a huge portion of my life. Photos and other possessions I had were either thrown out or destroyed by me ex - to include all of the Color Guard photos. I have looked for years online and through the military photo labs for pictures of me on the Guard but to no avail. Thankfully, this same person (who is still married to the same man) has a bunch of old photos and she has graciously sent me a few. It's like a piece of me has been restored. I'd like to share some of those pics with you now...
I hope you all get a kick of these. I'm sure you'll be seeing more.
The second part of my interesting day revolves around the motorcycle club world and my part in it. I think my interest in bikes started as many things in my life do - I was attracted to being part of something. A motorcycle club was my goal. Although I often feel like as a retired Marine I have broken through many of the sex barriers, I find that the motorcycle club that I want so badly to be part of is off limits to me simply because I am a female. This is a hard pill for me to swallow even though as I say that I have respect for the men that make up the club and understand why it is this way. I have been fortunate enough that the Vietnam Vets and Legacy Vets of O Chapter have allowed me to "hang" around and ride with them, but I am never going to be a member or patched. The closest I will get is being what I am now - just a hang around or if my DH becomes patched. The DH is just now beginning to find out what I have known for a long time now - how special and unique this new world is and how it's more than just about riding bikes. It's about being a part of something that matters. It's about a Brotherhood. Sitting back and watching is not easy for me, but it's the only way I can be close and I have to respect that. I suppose I will live the club life vicariously through my DH.
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Born to Be Wild" by Steppenwolf. What else? LOL
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Speaking of which, the weekend is going by too quickly! Why does this always happen? I have so much to do and there is never enough time to do it in! The DH and I decided we wouldn't have anything "planned" for the weekend but just sort of shoot from the hip. I think this is more relaxing in a lot of ways and as the weekend approached we actually had things pop onto our calendar, so it's all chill.
Might go for a Harley run today and then wind up at the Beer Garden. Not sure if the guys will be there, but the band will and cold beer. That's really all that matters. We also talked about going for a horseback ride with the owners of the barn we are at. They wanted to take us out on the trails around their place. Yesterday Cheyenne was a real handful and it wasn't a very enjoyable ride for the DH. Haven't really made up our minds yet about this afternoon.
I am so close to finishing yet another bag. This one is bright pink and grey. I am not certain what fabric will go inside. I need to go into my stash and dig a little for this one. No name pops out at me right now. After this one is done I will be starting on a Bengals bag. I got one shipment in of the Bengals fabric. It's really nice and I should be able to get at least four bags out of the amount I got. I doubt I will get more than 2 made for the Oct show. Although I have streamlined the process by knowing the exact number of stitches it takes and every time I do one it seems to be quicker and quicker. The only thing is though that once it becomes less of a fun thing and more of a chore - the less I will want to make them. It's all about creativity. Cranking them out isn't the fun part. I need to post some pics of the latest bags. I'll try and do that this weekend.
Well I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday weekend. I hope you guys come back with some posts to share!
SONG OF THE DAY: "Sea Breeze" by Tyrone Wells
Friday, September 4, 2009
OK, so I managed to finish the Martini bag. Very cute if I must say so myself. I am already about 30% into the next bag... Of which I have not yet come up with a name. But I will! Have no fear.
Hmmm, not really much to blog about other than I'm happy it's the weekend and I don't have any plans set in stone other than tomorrow night our old neighbor is throwing a steak on the grill and I am making deviled eggs (sorry Mama - I know you dislike them!). But nothing screams Labor Day (or any holiday for that matter) like deviled eggs. Yum-yum.
So we need to get you guys back at the blogging....How can we make this happen? I'm all alone out in blogspot world and although I don't have a problem writing just for my own benefit/therapy/pleasure it would be nice to have some sort of feedback.
SONG OF THE BLOG: "One (is the lonliest number)" by Three Dog Night
Thursday, September 3, 2009
"96" over Labor Day. That means a full 96 hours off. Tomorrow the Marines in my work section are competing in a unit softball tourney. So really tomorrow is just a screw off day, then they go out on libo until Wednesday. I loved being a Marine over the holidays. It was awesome to have time off to spend with friends and family. Now that I'm back working with the Marines we follow their lead - if they are off, so are we. Not always with pay mind you, but it's still nice to have the time off.
The weather here has been almost unbearable. We are used to a dry heat, but throw in a bit of humidity and we don't know what to do with ourselves. I thought it was moisture from Jimena - the hurricane in Baja - but I guess it's not.. Oh well, it would be nice to get some showers, but that's highly unlikely. The only thing this type of weather does produce is dry lightening which is NOT what we need in SoCal because of the threat of wildfires.
I am about 30 minutes away from completing the Martini bag. It's quite cute and I'm excited to put a price tag on it and move on to my next creation. Not quite sure yet what color yarn I will pick up, but I am leaning towards something bright and white. Talked about flying home in December to visit family and be part of the second craft fair with the hubby. He's all for it and might join me, but we decided not to purchase tickets until after the October craft sale. Just to see how things go...
I did a lot today. A lot of work. A lot of thinking. I wasn't thinking about work either. It's funny how your mind can play with you. One minute you are fine and the next you are close to tears. I just push it back down - not ready to let go just yet. Found out the week of Oct 5-9 I will be working as the Rover - which is what I was hired to do. The reps from Virginia will be out and we will be doing a physical walkthru and inventory of assets in the northern camps. Lots of walking and lots of new stuff. Should be fun. Get paid mileage too which is a nice plus.
This weekend I want to do an inventory of my current stash for the craft fair. Scarves, cloths and bags. I need to continue to get bags done. I figure it takes me approximately 24 hours to do one. Sadly I have to sleep or else I could probably get one done in 2.5 days rather than 5. The way I see it I can knock out another 4 bags before I have to ship.
Still waiting to hear from you guys... A couple have posted. I appreciate that, but where is everyone else?? Miss you guys!!
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Big Country" by Big Country
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Two more days at work and we are off for the Labor Day weekend. We have Monday and Tuesday off, which is super cool. I plan on riding both the horse and the bike - multiple times. I'm also going to try and inventory my current yarn products for the craft fair in Oct. The DH and I talked briefly about my flying home for the one in December. I need to find out the dates and start making some plans. I hope it's snowing while I'm there, although that might put a damper on sales... Hmmm, perhaps I need to rethink that. LOL
Rubbing my eyes and have drawn a blank, so ending this tonight short and sweet.
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Photograph" by Nickelback
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Yeah....Not so much. Let's see; my alarm didn't go off (stupid BB). I tripped over my workout clothes almost breaking my ankle. The only kind of bar left to grab in the pantry was a graham cracker smores flavor (your least favorite) and you promptly got about a mile down the road before you realize you forgot to even grab a water. By the time you get to the base gym every single parking spot is taken. You end up driving around the lot waiting for someone, anyone to leave. It doesn't happen, so you decide to drive to the smaller gym down the street. Once inside the place is crowded but you spot an open treadmill. As you start to get into your pace you begin to notice a certain ... smell. Garbage? Sewer leak? Someone farted? Glancing next to you, huffing and puffing like he's on death's door is a blob of a man. He is drenched in sweat. His grey sleeveless shirt is soaked. His headband (yes, I said headband) is not doing a very good job of keeping the sweat from pouring down his face. He's the source of the smell. Either he is a sewer worker that just got off work and accidently slipped into a pile of garbage and has terrible gas or this man has a serious ... er, problem. After about ten minutes you realize that's quite enough and decide to call it a "workout". The shower is ice cold. You forgot to bring in conditioner and the body wash you have smells less like a tropical garden or more like a cheap air freshner. Flat. That's how your hair looks and because you can't see well in the lights over the sinks your makeup makes you look pale.
And yeah, the compliment from your boss wasn't there either. He showed up minutes before a meeting and the only thing he managed to say was, "Thank God you made coffee."
Somehow from that point on the day just seemed to flatten out. Lunch was ho-hum. Music on the IPod was just so-so. Even the Marines were rather quiet and non entertaining. We can only hope tomorrow is a better day.
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Just Another Day" by Depeche Mode
Monday, August 31, 2009
The DH is considering something I think needs to be done. I am curious to know what he will decide. He always thinks these things through from start to finish, putting it all into perspective in every possible scenario. Something I have never been able to do. I admire this and yet I know with my personality it just wouldn't work for me, so I allow him to do it. LOL
I moved to a larger desk at work today. There is a new hire coming on aboard the week after Labor Day. She can have the small desk. My new desk is much larger, so I don't feel as if I am cramped and limited in my space. I am also in a corner; which is a nice touch.
I found and orderded Cincinnati Bengals and UC Bearcats fabric today to sew in as liners to bags for the craft fairs. The Martini bag is almost crocheted together. I should be able to cut the fabric tomorrow.
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Night Moves" by Bob Seger
Sunday, August 30, 2009
This evening I picked the daughter up from the airport. She went over for the weekend to see her new nephew. I knew it could be emotionally draining for her and it was. She went to see the gparents while she was there and of course, the discussion turned to the family. It's never an easy thing to have to live with - family disfunction in it's most evil and raw form. I am not happy to be in this one right now. If I could somehow opt out I think I would do so, but we all know that's not possible so here I am. For better or worse as they say. All I know is that it occupies way too much of my time and energy and I don't know how much of either I have left. Sadly we did get confirmation that the DH's brother is a liar and has gone back to Phoenix with a bucket full of BS. Nice to know all of the DH's efforts to help his bro got shoved right back down his throat. It's sickening in a way at how easily blood can turn on their own. We know now he can never be trusted and the DH says that bridge has been burned. The only good thing that came out of it all is that now his mother knows he is capable and does lie.
It was hot again today. The DH and I went to breakfast and afterwards went back to the old barn and got the rest of our belongings; black mats that weigh a ton, white water buckets and the black feed tubs. We got them home and although against all regs we hosed the black mats down anyway - and right on the driveway. They still sit there as I type. We hope they lose some of the horsey smell because our plans are to lie them inside the garage for safe keeping until we move to our own place. They are $50 a piece and we have four. No way are we giving them away.
I worked on a bag today that I am going to call "Martini". It's black with a pink and olive stripe pattern. For some reason it just reminds me of a Martini... Not sure yet about the liner. I have several fabrics to choose from in my stash. I hope to start that on Tuesday. Right now I have 3 bags total for the Oct craft fair in Ohio. There is a solo bag at the salon that I might pull back to ship. Haven't decided just yet. My cousin suggested using Bengals, UC Bearcats and Xavier colors because they are big sellers. I need to explore that option for scarves I do believe.
Thursday night is the final "Thirsty Thursday" at the ballpark. Brings an end to the summer season. Can't believe Labor Day is just around the corner. Not sure yet about how my work week will be effected. The Marines are off on a 96. Not really much to do when the Marines aren't around, so we'll see what happens.
Football season is right around the corner. I'm happy about this because I really do enjoy watching it now that I know more about it. Go Colts!
Lastly - WHERE THE HECK IS EVERYONE???????????????????????? WHY AREN'T YOU BLOGGING AND/OR COMMENTING??????????????????????????
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Dead Flowers" by Miranda Lambert. Sad song but man is it well written...
Saturday, August 29, 2009
I'm curious to know how many of you ask for "life" to give you a sign when trying to make a decision. I am one of these people. I will literally talk to God for hours on end asking him to please leave me a sign (you know, a big huge note written on the bathroom mirror that only I can see, or maybe a special text message telling me what I should do). Never happens. I think I get a sign and I have simply misread my emotions and instead of being the right way I end up worse off than I was. I don't know.. I keep thinking I am almost 46 years old and that's closer to the end than it is to the beginning so I'm getting a tad bit worried I don't have the time left to find the right answers.
Someone told me the other day that as long as I was walking, talking and had people in my life that I love and that love me in return I am doing alright. They told me that is happiness and that I was asking for way too much. I'm processing this and it's not sitting too well with my 1) heart and 2) the Libra-needs-balance part of me. At what point does a person become fulfilled in life? Isn't that a personal journey? What is happiness to some isn't necessarily happiness to others.
I am happy creating things with my yarn. I find much satisfaction in the process of putting something together, seeing the end product and then especially when someone has it for their own. But I don't have nearly enough time to crochet as I would like. Just when I sit down and start in, it seems I have something I have to do and so I must leave my passion for less thrilling chores. Afterwards I'm often too tired to pick it up again or perhaps I have lost the moment.
Today I rode Dolly around the new barn property. I lounged her first in the arena thinking she would be quite excited and full of herself, but she surprised me and was not. She seemed rather calm and curious, so I threw a leg over her and we rode for a bit. She was amazingly easy going and the only thing that had her acting a bit cautious was a roll of wire fencing lying beneath a row of grapes. I tried coaxing her to them while still in the saddle but that wasn't working, so I hopped off and led her right to the wire. She seemed less interested when she was closer to it and decided to sample the grape leaves instead. The vines are about ready for harvest. They hang heavy with bunches of deep purple grapes. I thought about tasting one..but hesitated. Maybe tomorrow.
I have two craft fairs to prep for. One is Oct 3 & 4th. I do not know how much inventory I have already for that one, but I need to pull out my containers and find out. The second one is Dec 5 & 6th. If I work hard and steady I could have a fair amount of bags done for that one. By "fair" I mean maybe ten. And that's not a lot really when you think about a two day craft fair, but really what are my options? Hire out workers? LOL
I had stopped listening to Daughtry's new CD (and his old CD for that matter) because... Well, just because. Now I find myself singing the songs on my own and that's a tad disturbing, or enlightening depending on how you look at it. Part of me feels like that chapter has passed and the new one has started, but I still feel a tremendous pull towards that time. So for now I am going to let it pull me, or push me? Why does it have to be a step backward? Why can't it be a push forward?
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Tennesse Line" by Daughtry
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Well, first off I have a new Storm BB and let me just say it was the best purchase of my phone life to date. I do miss my submarine GZone, but only because it was so dang cool looking. This BB has everything. If I could just get it to do the chores I don't like doing I would be in heaven. I can update Facebook and Twitter, as well as read my emails and text messages. It's amazing. <3 my Storm.
Next on the list is the big Daughtry concert on August 22nd. OK, I can't believe it's in less than two weeks. I have been shopping for new clothes for the trip. Found a really cute dress for the concert. It's at the very nice Pure club, so there is a dress code. We have two nights confirmed at the hotel and I plan on relaxing and making the most of it.
The Harley is still way up on my list of the best things ever. Riding it has brought me more friends and cooler relationships than I ever dreamed of. I rode with the O Chapter of the Vietnam Vets/Legacy Vets club on July 26th. They allowed me to literally ride in their pack, which is an honor in itself. They are such a neat group of men, each with a story.
Work is going great. I love it, which I know is not something many people can say. But I can and I say it often!
SONG OF THE BLOG: "No Surprise" by DAUGHTRY
Friday, June 26, 2009
Tomorrow the Ladies of Harley are bbqing and selling root beer floats to help raise money for our fund raiser. Should be fun. If nothing else, it'll be cool to hang with the biker chicks for a while. The DH is going to drive his Jeep over and finally meet all the gang.
Sunday is horse day with my mentor. Should be fun and I haven't ridden in a week - the horse that is! Here are a few new pics of her! Doesn't she look amazing???
Our kitten Hooters is turning out to be quite the cat. She is the most athletic kitten I have ever seen and believe me, I have been around a lot of cats in my day. Here is a cute pic of her. Jamie was messing around and well, you can see...
I have been keeping a close watch on all things Daughtry. Their new CD is due out July 14th and I can't wait to hear it!! So the song for the blog is....
"No Surprise" off the new CD! Hot, hot, hot new song. All smiles here!
Daughtry - No Surprise (Official Music Video) - More amazing video clips are a click away
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Back in uniform. Hair neatly slicked back. Minimal makeup. Carrying my water bottle and joking with the male Marines about the morning's run. I sat at my desk feeling like a has been.
I felt stupid in my Docker pants and silk blouse. I wanted to put my hair up in the french braid I wore for twenty years. I wanted to lose my comfy shoes and slide my feet into a pair of combat boots.
The melancholy of it all was almost palpable to me. I was angry at myself for having retired before going to Iraq. I was mad because I hadn't been part of "that". I have no claim to it. The glory, the hell, the comraderie, the battlefield lonliness. I missed out on that.
Everywhere I went I saw young Marines and old Marines walking in a way I had not been able to walk - like one that had been to War. I longed for that stature.
Suddenly it didn't seem worth it. My six years of retirement seemed like a complete waste of time compared to what I could have gained. Sure, I probably would have lost something or someone. Maybe even I could have been lost in War, but that didn't take away the longing I felt.
Maybe this was the real reason I always told myself I would never return to the base and work. Maybe I knew deep down how much I would miss it. I tried to give myself props. I followed an old Oprah idea where you write down things you are thankful for. "Family" "Health" "Job" "Horses" "Harley" None of this seemed to bring me much comfort. I kept focusing on the bad and the lack of. I couldn't bring myself to be happy about the life I was living. This continued on my drive home. Sitting in minor traffic I was able to ask myself outloud, "How did I get to this point in my life?" "What turns did I take that brought me HERE?"
I need to do a 180* turn around. I need to remember it was not my fate in life to serve in Iraq. I need to put it in perspective that my time in Corps was over and I had to let it go.
SONG OF THE BLOG:"Goodnight Saigon" by Billy Joel
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Working with Marines is just something I can't quite put into words. It's as if I never left, only now they call me Christy and I don't get to wear that cool uniform. No, instead I'm in slacks and blouses/tops, open toed sandals with my pink toe polish and toe ring for all to see and my bracelets, earrings and rings I was not permitted to wear in uniform. The Marines haven't changed - just the faces and names. There's the clown. The serious one. The quiet one. The one that will do anything for you. The smartass, the teddy bear, the ladykiller... They are still there as if they never left.
Since the BIL has moved out, the household is getting back to it's normal self. We haven't heard a word from him, not that we really expected to. I suppose we expected too much of him. We thought he had changed, turn a corner for the better and left his old ways behind. Apparently not. The DH is hurt and pissed. I hope in time he can let it go.
So you all know that the DH gets migraines, right? Well, he was getting one almost daily when I suggested to him he take a Claritin a day - just to see if it helped. We are on day 5 and no headache. Just bought him a new box of 10. If this works and he has no headache in that time frame I'm probably going to have to shoot someone. J/K Sort of. I mean, I don't think his doctor even asked him about allergies or suggested we give allergy medicine a try before he through him into a series of migraine medicines. At the same time, I might just be so relieved that it is allergies that I will forget all about my anger.
SONG OF THE BLOG: A repeat, but so good it's better the second time around. "What I'd Give" by Sugarland....Enjoy!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
That's right - I am back to work. Pigs will fly next week. LOL Actually my job is pretty cool. In a nutshell the computers for the Navy and Marines were literally taken over by what they call NMCI (Navy Marine Corps Internet). The company that manages it is called CSC. I work for CSC as an augment. The funniest thing is that I literally work in the same exact building I worked in my very last day in the Corps. I am surrounded by Marines all day. It's flippin awesome. :-)
Everyone and everything else is doing just fine and dandy. I hope you all have a fantastic Memorial Day weekend. Remember those that have fallen and those still missing that fought for this country's freedom! Ooh Rah!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
We are now Grandparents to a healthy baby boy. Jonathan Hunter was born Friday morning weighing in at 7lbs 4 oz. He went home Sunday and from what we have heard doing just fine. Here is the one and only pic I have. I think he looks like me!
My BIL is now living with us. He has relocated from Phoenix to California and is currently working with the DH. He seems to be enjoying himself here and has already met someone he is interested in >> a waitress at Annie's! Go Figure! Anyway, we are having a little get together this Friday. We are calling it his Quinceanera. LOL Yeah, we're just crazy like that. Makes for some interesting evenings having him around. He has a great sense of humor and it's cool to see him and the DH interact.
I haven't been working too much on the crochet projects. Shame on me, but really have found it hard to sit down lately. I still have 4 working. #1 for Noah, #2 for Jake, #3 for me and #4 Chargers blanket. I really need to get with it.
We did get the MLB Network so we can watch baseball. So far it's been a pretty cool deal. We have watched the Reds play almost every game this year. Well worth the money since we are such big baseball fans.
Speaking of baseball, I joined a Fantasy Baseball League. We had our draft Sunday night and I got some pretty choice players! Should be fun to track it through the season.
Twitter has become an obsession, albeit I'm not sure what else it's good for. I mean I have had very little traffic go to my site as a result of posting a link to my handmade items on Etsy. I haven't had a single sale. I just sort of read and tweet every once in awhile. Not sure where this will lead, but for now I am enjoying it.
Thursday is another LOH meeting. =) Then Saturday is a New Member Orientation for HOG. Actually thinking about starting my own club with a friend - Jeanie - who also finds it difficult to be around other women. Still pondering that thought...
SONG OF THE BLOG: "HAVE A NICE DAY" by Bon Jovi
Monday, April 6, 2009
It is too bad I cannot blog while I am driving. For many reasons, but the one I'm referring to is that it seems when I am driving I am blogging in my head. I have all of these neat little cliches and nuances that just flow across my brain and I can't wait to get home and start typing! But when I do get home and do get on the computer I find that all of those things I had so cleverly come up with while driving have left me and I just have jumbled pieces of ... stuff that I try to pull together and make some sense; something that might flow. Someone might find it worth a read? No? OK, well, it was worth a shot.
Anywho... I had a good weekend. It was different than I expected and went really fast. The DH is out of town on a 4x4 trip. So I thought, "Yippee! I get the remote! I get to crochet! I get to eat and drink whatever I want! I can stay up late! I can sleep in! I can burn candles all over the house and play my music loud!" Ok, so I did do all those things, but man did the time I had to do them fly by. Now the DH is on his way home and following him in the Rubi is his bro. Yep, he's coming to live with us. Oughta be interesting! We went from an empty nest to the daughter back living with us and now his bro. Too funny! So where is he going to sleep you ask? Well, I am giving up my craft room and my HD TV. I will move my yarn to the loft and since I am spending a lot more time at the computer in the master bedroom, thinking I will do my crocheting from here as well! Works out great! Last night I spent time going through yarn and rolling small skeins into balls to make room on shelves. It's a huge favorite past time of mine. It's one of those things I consider addicting and compulsive and tedious and fits my personality to a T. Hey, I wonder if there is a market for someone that likes to roll yarn into balls...?
You all know I am horse crazy. I was born that way. My Mom says I used to crawl around on the floor when I was little and pretend to be a horse. As I got older my obsession just became stronger. I would ask for horsie related stuff for birthday and Christmas even though I didn't own a horse. I would tie up my make believe horse to the fence and brush him with one of the many brushes I got as a gift. Yeah, I was that crazy. It's rare you find a girl that claims to LOVE horses is one that truly LOVES horses in every sense of the word. It's one thing to want to be near them, ride them, etc. and quite another to HAVE to be near them and WANT to be near them and the riding is just icing on the cake. I always hesitate when someone tells me their daughter LOVES horses because I know most just are in love with the idea of being in love with horses and not one that genuinely has oats running through their veins. Enter Corey. Corey's Dad lives down the block from us. He is twice divorced; the first time from Corey's Mom. Corey has a younger sister and brother. She is ten. She has sunkissed blonde hair and dancing eyes. "She loves horses!" her Dad told me. He knows we have two. So I offered to take Corey with me to the barn to see the horses. I also took her sister cuz she wanted to go. I couldn't believe my eyes. Watching Corey was like watching me 35 years ago. She bounded out of the truck to be with the girls. She didn't blink an eye when Dolly nuzzled her pink jacket and got horsie drool on the pocket. She laid her whole body across the front of Cheyenne's chest covering herself with the soft winter chestnut hair. She braided manes, she kissed muzzles, she looked into their eyes and talked to them. She LOVES horses. Her sister is afraid of them and it was obvious she had just come along for the ride so as not to be left out.
So yesterday I had arranged with Corey and her Dad for me to take her to breakfast at Annie's and then to the barn. She turns 11 on the 9th and I wanted to give her a special birthday present only a true horse lover would enjoy. She had never cleaned a stall before. She helped me clean all 3. She was a trooper. She never once complained. She pushed the wheelbarrow all the way to the pasture 3 times. She stepped in pee. She stepped in manure. She danced through the fresh shavings. She couldn't wait to ride. We rode for almost two hours. I watched her; fascinated at her carefree style. It dawned on me I had lost that. Somewhere between paying bills, cleaning the toilets, worrying about family fights, being mad at relatives and trying to find something new and yummy for dinner I had lost that wonderfuly carefree attitude of youth. She was me all over again. She was daring on horseback. She was a girl that was happiest being right where she was. She didn't need anything more than to be in the moment.
It was sad to pry her off. I wanted to give her more. I remembered how I felt being her age. I remember intentionally rubbing my clothes on the horses so the smell would still be with me after I had left them. I remember closing my eyes and running my hands through manes so that when I was falling asleep and dreaming I would have that memory to fall back on. I remembered so much...
Traditionally the first game of the baseball season is played in Cincinnati. I ordered MLB Network today and can't wait for the Opening Day game. Cincinnati vs New York Mets at 1:10EST. Woohoo! We will get 13 channels of nonstop baseball action.
The ACM Awards were on last night. I know none of your probably watched and that's OK. I forgive you. One song that stuck in my head (and heart) was a new one by Sugarland. I can't find an audio of it but here are the lyrics...
It's called WHAT I'D GIVE
Update: I found the song and put it on MySpace.
Friday, April 3, 2009
I have always been so negative when it comes to listing things that make me mad so this time I thought I'd list things that make me happy.
1. Horses. Today the girls got new shoes and being close to them always makes me happy. They give kisses, nudge you for attention and just smell wonderful.
2. Milk. I have always been a fan of cold milk. Growing up we drank it with dinner and somehow as I've gotten older I have gotten away from doing that. I love milk with ice in it. I know it probably sounds weird, but it's really great. As long as you don't let it sit so the ice melts.
3. Clean sheets. I love the smell and feel of freshly washed linen! My Mom used to hang ours outside on the line. Can't get that same smell here in tract housing, but one day when I have more room in my backyard I will have a clothesline!
4. Paper Mate Flair pens. Absolutely the best writing intruments as far as I'm concerned.
5. IPOD player. I have it sitting directly above me on my computer desk, which is an old military duty desk with a roll top. I sit the IPod player on the top shelf and just let it play through the 15++ songs I have on it. =)
Check out this site: Barbara Gordon Photography
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Animals" by Nickelback
Monday, March 30, 2009
She told us her husband had passed away, but before he did they were regular at Annie's for well over 40 years. She had seen 5 owners of the place and thought Annie's was by and far the best yet. She has lived in LE for most of her life. She recently found out she has cancer. Now you would think that would be enough to damper a person's spirit, but she is not that kind of person to stay down for too long. She said she went to the Doctor to learn the test results and the Dr said to her, "You know you have cancer, right?" She replied, "I figured. My Grandmother had it and so did my Mother. Figured it was my turn." The Dr told her if she had just come in when she had noticed the first sign it would have been easier on her. The first sign was an inverted nipple. (I'm not kidding.) She told the Dr she doesn't keep a mirror in the house where she can see past her neck because she just doesn't need to. He asked her if she didn't look at herself in the mirror and she said she avoided it and that if she had she wouldn't have noticed the inverted nipple because hers are pointing DOWN anyways. I thought I would fall off the bar stool I was laughing so hard. She grabbed our bill when the waitress dropped it off and said she was paying. We looked at each other like we couldn't believe it. Why were we so surprised? I'll get to that..
She said one day she was sitting at a table by herself and her arm had been hurting her from the lymph nodes where she has the cancer and she was feeling sorry for herself and all that when a family came in. Husband, wife and their new baby. The husband didn't have a left arm. It looked like it had been cut off right above the elbow. So as GMa Pat sat there next to them she started to kick herself because she had two good arms and was mad for feeling sorry for herself when here was this man with only one good arm and he couldn't be happier about his life. So on her way out she paid for the family's breakfast. She says she does this all the time because it makes her feel good to do it and she likes to do it anonymously. So she's walking to her car and the guy comes running up and says, "Thank you for buying our breakfast, but I got to ask you why you did.." She told him how she had been feeling sorry for herself and how seeing him so happy with his new baby and beautiful wife had lifted her spirits and she did it for herself. The man was so touched he got all teary eyed and they hugged and come to find out he had been born without the arm.
So what you guys don't know is that my very own DH does exactly the same thing. If we are sitting at a table or the counter and start chatting with someone or if he sees someone he thinks is special or interesting he will tell the waitress he wants to buy their meal and to keep it quiet. I thought how cool after all these times of paying for other's meals someone finally was repaying the favor to my DH. He and Pat were instant friends and I can see her becoming a part of his life.
I will try and get a pic of Grandma Pat soon. Hugging her is a delight as she is all soft and "squishy" like old women are. Our daughter says she loves hugging her for that very reason.
Craft Note: I am promoting my blankets today.
Surprise Scarp #5
Warm Brown Ripple
Check out this site: Inklore
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Wayfarer" by Jay Nash. Yep - Birdman, Mama has done it again. I have fallen for another singer she turned me on to!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Not sure if you guys know, but this weekend was when I was driving up to Mama's to see Tyrone with her on Saturday night in Hermosa Beach. I got an added treat because her sister had to cancel going with Mama on Friday night to see him, soooo I got to see him twice! Woohoo! Friday he was at the Glasshouse. Saturday he was at the St. Rocke in Hermosa Beach. Two awesome venues and as usual, he was really great!!!! It's awesome cuz now I can totally sing to all of his songs! Guess I have officially gained the title of Tyrone Groupie! LOL But that's OK. I'm totally cool with it! =) I know my pic is a bit out of focus (damn camera phone), but have no doubt he was HOT!!!
Saturday morning I had a ride with the Harley's Angels. We went out to Borrego Springs and had lunch at the Hog Trough. Great ride. The scenery is absolutely incredible. It was only about 140 miles round trip but felt longer because of the winding roads. No joke - there was easily 200 bikers on the road.
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Need" by Tyrone Wells. Gotta be my fave!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Oh, sorry...still lost in the moment. A Harley moment that is. =) Yesterday and today I took two very cool rides. Let me share!
Yesterday around noon I took off, topped off and headed to Palomar Observatory. It's been a really long time since I have been up there, but it was so worth the drive. I headed south on the 15, exited at Mission Rd, headed south on the 395, and then went east on the 79. Past the Pala Casino. Past the Pauma Casino. Straight to the top of Mt. Palomar. Luckily I was wearing my vintage leather jacket cause it got chilly at 5000 ft! The views were amazing. I didn't take any pics - my phone camera sucks in ref to taking pics. I walked to the observatory, went inside and checked out the displays and the telescope, took a bathroom break and then headed back down the mountain. I am absolutely going to do that ride again.
Today I started out around 1. I headed south on Jefferson and went west on Rancho California Rd. It turns into De Luz, which winds and dips through the back side of Fallbrook. It is really amazing country back in there. When it's rainy, it's not so good as there are probably 6 or 7 spots where the water crosses the road. There were 3 spots with a trickle across the roadway. It's probably a good 35 mile ride and it brings you out in downtown Fallbrook right on Mission Rd.
I took the advice of a fellow biker and popped in my earphones and IPod for both rides. What a difference music makes on a bike! Wow! I mean you guys know how much I LOVE my music. Well, listening to my favorite playlist while cruising on my bike was pretty close to heaven. I am absolutely LOVING this Harley. I can't tell you how great it feels to ride. It's very empowering. You feel very strong and confident when you ride - at least I do. I am learning to negotiate just about anything I might come across and my bike is perfect for me. I just love it. Still need to find some cool saddlebags...
Robert's blanket is almost 100%. In fact, tonight it will be finished. =) I promise a pic tomorrow.
The maroon and pink one is on hold for now.
The Chargers' blanket is next after Robert's is finished. I'm dreading picking it back up because, well, it's the Chargers and I don't like them. LOL
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
5. I can't believe (well, actually yes I can) that Congress is ACTING sooooo upset over a measely $165 million that went to AIG in the first place. It's like they all want face time for their constituents to see them angry and they act like this is what the American people want. Wrong. Americans want a fair and honest government. They want the government to STOP spending to much friggin money on crap. I truly believe they knew this fall out was going to happen. All they did was say, "Oh, we'll just let the people yell and scream for a bit. We'll go on TV and show them how upset we are and soon something else will come along to distract them and all of this will be forgotten. We'll all get to keep our cushy jobs and cushy paychecks and bonuses and pensions."
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Maroon and Pink... Getting there. It works up easy but I get distracted when working on it for some reason. This one still has no owner, so there really isn't a rush to get it finished.
Robert's Blanket... I haven't really worked on this as much as I should have. This is the next one I want completed so as of now it has priority.
Charger's blanket for Wendy's son... I started this awhile ago and need to finish it. After Robert's blanket, this one has the priority.
And here is the "best" part. This is a list of the blankets I have yet to finish:
1. Mama's birthday blanket
2. LAPD SWAT blanket for Leesa
3. Noah's birthday blanket
4. Jacob's birthday blanket
5. Wendy's oldest son's purple and white blanket
6. Surprise Scrap #6 blanket
Wow, that's a lot of work for 2009. I need to get to work. LOL
Check out this blog: Ocean Bay Designs
SONG OF THE BLOG: "Sweet Emotion" by Aerosmith. Why do I feel naughty whenever I hear this song? hehehehehe