Friday, June 26, 2009

Just playing catch up

I have spent a good deal of the evening catching up on emails, facebook, twitter and reading blogs. I miss having all that time to do so. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I love that it keeps me busy and even that the firewall will not allow me to go to those sites. LOL

Tomorrow the Ladies of Harley are bbqing and selling root beer floats to help raise money for our fund raiser. Should be fun. If nothing else, it'll be cool to hang with the biker chicks for a while. The DH is going to drive his Jeep over and finally meet all the gang.

Sunday is horse day with my mentor. Should be fun and I haven't ridden in a week - the horse that is! Here are a few new pics of her! Doesn't she look amazing???

Our kitten Hooters is turning out to be quite the cat. She is the most athletic kitten I have ever seen and believe me, I have been around a lot of cats in my day. Here is a cute pic of her. Jamie was messing around and well, you can see...

I have been keeping a close watch on all things Daughtry. Their new CD is due out July 14th and I can't wait to hear it!! So the song for the blog is....

"No Surprise" off the new CD! Hot, hot, hot new song. All smiles here!

Daughtry - No Surprise (Official Music Video) - More amazing video clips are a click away

Thursday, June 4, 2009


Today was an odd day for me. I started out feeling a little uneasy. I had the drive in to work to give myself enough time to create this huge conspiracy theory and by the time I parked and got to my desk I had pretty much decided I had let life pass me by and I was a loser. It was difficult today watching the female Marines. I suddenly longed to be one of them again.

Back in uniform. Hair neatly slicked back. Minimal makeup. Carrying my water bottle and joking with the male Marines about the morning's run. I sat at my desk feeling like a has been.

I felt stupid in my Docker pants and silk blouse. I wanted to put my hair up in the french braid I wore for twenty years. I wanted to lose my comfy shoes and slide my feet into a pair of combat boots.

The melancholy of it all was almost palpable to me. I was angry at myself for having retired before going to Iraq. I was mad because I hadn't been part of "that". I have no claim to it. The glory, the hell, the comraderie, the battlefield lonliness. I missed out on that.

Everywhere I went I saw young Marines and old Marines walking in a way I had not been able to walk - like one that had been to War. I longed for that stature.

Suddenly it didn't seem worth it. My six years of retirement seemed like a complete waste of time compared to what I could have gained. Sure, I probably would have lost something or someone. Maybe even I could have been lost in War, but that didn't take away the longing I felt.

Maybe this was the real reason I always told myself I would never return to the base and work. Maybe I knew deep down how much I would miss it. I tried to give myself props. I followed an old Oprah idea where you write down things you are thankful for. "Family" "Health" "Job" "Horses" "Harley" None of this seemed to bring me much comfort. I kept focusing on the bad and the lack of. I couldn't bring myself to be happy about the life I was living. This continued on my drive home. Sitting in minor traffic I was able to ask myself outloud, "How did I get to this point in my life?" "What turns did I take that brought me HERE?"

I need to do a 180* turn around. I need to remember it was not my fate in life to serve in Iraq. I need to put it in perspective that my time in Corps was over and I had to let it go.

SONG OF THE BLOG:"Goodnight Saigon" by Billy Joel

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

It's all in a days work

Today was the first day since I started back to work that I really felt like I was doing something worthwhile. I was neck deep in spreadsheets (which is my passion) and highlighters. LOL It felt good to start pulling some stuff together that I've been learning about since starting on the 18th.

Working with Marines is just something I can't quite put into words. It's as if I never left, only now they call me Christy and I don't get to wear that cool uniform. No, instead I'm in slacks and blouses/tops, open toed sandals with my pink toe polish and toe ring for all to see and my bracelets, earrings and rings I was not permitted to wear in uniform. The Marines haven't changed - just the faces and names. There's the clown. The serious one. The quiet one. The one that will do anything for you. The smartass, the teddy bear, the ladykiller... They are still there as if they never left.

Since the BIL has moved out, the household is getting back to it's normal self. We haven't heard a word from him, not that we really expected to. I suppose we expected too much of him. We thought he had changed, turn a corner for the better and left his old ways behind. Apparently not. The DH is hurt and pissed. I hope in time he can let it go.

So you all know that the DH gets migraines, right? Well, he was getting one almost daily when I suggested to him he take a Claritin a day - just to see if it helped. We are on day 5 and no headache. Just bought him a new box of 10. If this works and he has no headache in that time frame I'm probably going to have to shoot someone. J/K Sort of. I mean, I don't think his doctor even asked him about allergies or suggested we give allergy medicine a try before he through him into a series of migraine medicines. At the same time, I might just be so relieved that it is allergies that I will forget all about my anger.

SONG OF THE BLOG: A repeat, but so good it's better the second time around. "What I'd Give" by Sugarland....Enjoy!