Thursday, May 8, 2008

Everything I try to blog gets stuck between my brain and the keyboard...

Ever have one of those days when you have a lot to say, but nothing seems to come out right? That's where I am today. I feel writer's block - or is that blog block? That just sounds ugly - like some nasty condition you'd see a doctor or plumber for. Anyway, I woke up this morning feeling oddly older. I think everyone gets to points in their life when they feel like they reach milestones or a turning point and they realize they have turned a corner on their journey. Some people wake up and notice wrinkles that they swear weren't there the night before. Some people will suddenly have the answer to a problem that has been bugging them for years. Others will notice how they no longer get upset over something that used to make them angry. For me, it was noticing how comfortable I am in my life and with myself. No, not perfect. I'm far from feeling perfect, but what I realize is that I am in charge of ME and my destiny. I have choices in life and it's up to me and no one else to make those choices. I woke up this morning feeling like I had turned a page and started a new chapter. The page is blank and I can write whatever I want. It's a big challenge for me. I still feel like there is so much I haven't done. Horses I haven't ridden, blankets I haven't yet made, books I have yet to read, places I haven't yet seen... Instead of the rest of the book looking shorter (like it did yesterday) it now looks like the best chapters could be ahead of me. I just need to get busy and start living them. Like Hero said in his recent blog - Stop fucking around and do it already. I always liked that line from the Shawshank Redemption - Get busy living or get busy dying.




I went to breakfast with my DH and our Jarhead friend at Annie's this morning. We sat at the counter, which I love to do. You get a front row seat to watch the Mexican cooks and hang with the waitresses. They all know us and we exchang pleasantries about kids and work. Joke around with other regulars at the cafe; like Robert, the former Navy guy. He likes our kidding around with him because he was Navy and the three of us are retired Marines. It was the DH's turn to buy breakfast for Kevin, and he picked up Robert's tab, too. Robert had no idea even as we got up to leave. It will be a nice surprise for him when he asks Staci for his check.




I decided to work from home today. One of the best bennies of this job. I am enjoying a cool breeze sitting at my kitchen table. The arcadia slider is open and the cats are sitting at the door, their noses sniffing the air. I brought the IPod player down and just hit "shuffle". I figured I'd just let it play as it will for the day.




The DH and Jarhead took off for Lowes - doing that male bonding thing over plumbing parts. It seems 2 out of the 3 showers in our house broke yesterday. LOL How funny is that? Thank goodness I married a Handyman!




I sealed the deal this morning with my Mom. She and I are going to Vegas while she is here in June. She has never been. At first she seemed hesitant about going. After talking to her again she told me she knew it was expensive and she didn't know if she wanted to spend the money to go. It felt great to be able to her not to worry about the money. After everything she has done for me and my family through the years, saying that to her was a good feeling. It will be a site seeing trip mostly. I know she will enjoy walking the strip and seeing all the casinos. We can take our time and eat and drink as we feel the urge hit us. If we go on a weekday the room will probably be comp'd. It will be a nice Mother/Daughter trip. I'm looking forward to it.




IPOD SONG OF THE BLOG: "1979" by the Smashing Pumpkins. I have no idea what this song means. I just like the way it flows.




PHOTO OF THE BLOG: I love Adirondack Chairs and this photo looks inviting to me...






3 comments:

the mama said...

cool song and even cooler pic!!


i hit the point of starting a new chapter about a year ago. it has been tedious trying to fill the pages.... don't feel as comfortable in my skin as I should. always feels like there is something missing. that feeling has been lingering for years now... i guess when I figure that out, i can turn the page!

birdman said...

for someone who has blog block that was a lot.. I have not had that new chapter feeling yet..... I am sure it is coming...

sounds liea lot of fun at breakfast and working from home... NICE


Love the song too

imaaudioslave said...

My grandpa knows how to make those chairs from scratch