Tired and Rain

Finally we are having some significant rainfall. Today is actually pouring and it was so nice to listen to. I know too soon it will be over and I will once again long for the day when constant sunshine and dry heat are not the norm, so let it rain a little while.

I am tired of things. Sometimes it seems like when ever I am asked how I am the only response I have is "tired". Not physically. But emotionally and mentally. Is there a place to go where you can escape this type of tired? Hell if I know. I just want to breathe and relax. Doesn't seem like a lot to ask for but when it comes right down to it very few people are willing to just give that to you unconditionally. That's a key.

On another note, and one which is NOT very good, I have come upon a revelation of sorts regarding the VNV and Legacy Vets. Let me preface this by saying the DH told me yesterday that one of the patch holders' claim to military service is that he joined the Army, went to basic, got stationed with a jump unit and while at jump school fell off the tower and was discharged. So pretty much his military career is the extent of how much time I've spent in the field my first year of service. So this "vet" gets patched and gets to be treated like he's somehow better than me and gets to act like he's somehow better than me. I have a whole new attitude towards these so-called vets. Why should I support them when they don't support me? I did 20 years serving this country - more than 90% of the patch holders in the club. OK, I wasn't in VietNam, nor did I serve in Iraq or Afghanistan. But guess what - some of them didn't either. It's hurtful to be honest. Once again as a female and a Marine I find it impossible to feel like I belong anywhere or with anyone.

I have been thinking about the idea for a novel again. I keep thinking if I just took the time to write the thoughts down I might really have something. I create dialogues in my head while driving to and from work daily. It's perfected itself actually. My dreams are beginning to add to the storyline - whether consciously or unconsciously. Maybe a book is my destiny for freedom of a hurting soul? Maybe the way to release my heart is to share it with those who can be empathetic with me?

I miss other bloggers... Twitter is fun and a quick fix, but to me blogging is still King. Where or where are my followers? Let me know if you are out there!

SONG OF THE BLOG: "Already Gone" by Sugarland.